I’ve got to learn to compose email and blog posts offline. Composing online is a bad habit I got into 35+ years ago on Teletypes connected to remote PDP-8s.
Archive for the 'Blog' Category
First, many, many, many, thanks to our intrepid sys admin, and best friend Ben, for getting FFEJWORLD back on line. This time he had to do something insane by programmer’s standards: repair a database. So be especially nice to Ben this month, he’s probably still shivering in horror. If he wasn’t already asleep.
Second, thanks again to Ben. Words really are inadequate. Really. He has really important things to do, and didn’t need to be polluting his synapses with this shit. Thank You!
Doesn’t mean I’ll be posting with any more regularity 
Number of people who asked me for a birthday wish list post: 7
Number of people who swore they’d use it: 7
Number of people from above who used it: 0
Number of people who said “Oh, I saw your wish list post, what a great idea! Sorry I can’t get you anything because I’m broke”: 11
Number of people claiming brokeness who then related recently spending 5-13 thousand dollars: 2
Number of people claiming brokeness who are unemployed: 1
Number of people who said they couldn’t afford anything off the list, but they’d get me dinner instead: 5
Number of dinners received: 0
Number of people overhearing above above conversations who said “OMG, you have a blog?”: 3
Total number of items received off of wish list: 2
Items not from my self: 1
Item received: left earpiece for headset and use of soldering iron.
Amount of time wasted on wish list: 40+ hours
Items that failed to post: Socks, sock liners, laptop memory
Laptop hard drives that have failed since posting: mine.
Number one comment by total stranger in moderation que: “Get A Life!”
Number of times my bloging software has needed to be updated since I began the wish list: twice
Write the Bachelor’s guide to cooking with automatic drip coffee makers.
Learn to spell ciggerette.
Kill mosquitos.
Repair the cats bondage outfits.
Wash my watch.
Wax the candles.
Drink more tea.
Empty my pockets.
Been trying to deal with a death in my extended circle, having trouble writing about it. More posts later about time sensitive stuff.
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Apparently so.
Here I am geeking away on an nerdy combo backpack organization/wishlist article, and I get a Tweet:
I just hit your blog and you are a hot mess of hilariousness (I know it’s not a real word).
Wow. I’m stunned. I quickly went and checked to see if ffej.org was rerouting to The Onion or The Realist Archive. Nope. Same poorly maintained ADD/HD effluvium as always. Pictures still crooked on the walls, cruft in the code and dust bunnies everywhere. Yet Katie Schwartz, who authored said Tweet is A Real Writer, and quite funny. Ordinarily I’d fire off one of my patented “You’re out of your fucking mind, please seek professional care immediately, but thank you” letters, but I accidentally hit send after spending 20 minutes trying to spell thank you (my Twitter client of choice is Twhirl, it’s only real failing is it doesn’t spell check-but you can change fonts and font size, use multiple accounts, search, and so much more).
I’m fairly certain the last time I was funny was sometime betwixt 91 and 93. Last time I was hot was that ear infection with 103 degree fever last winter. Messy, now messy I can understand. Messy, I can get my teeth into messy…
Go check out Katie’s blog. guaranteed hotter and funnier then this mess, and with a completely different set of modifiers then in use here.
Thanks to the Beatrice R. Lillie Fund for sponsoring a few days of internet goodness. We’re still looking for a long term solution, so if you have an old laptop you want to give a great home, or need some tech support please let me know. And you can always donate your spare kopeks via the Buy FFEJWORLD a Cup of Coffee button to your right…
Well, 2007 went down like dingy in a typhoon (yeah yeah, I know what you were thinking, you got a dirty mind…). Now on to 2008. Let’s up things shape up, so here’s to Happy Healthy Prosperous and PEACEFUL New Year. If a bunch of artists could make a serious difference for Kim Assaley, imagine what wonders you can do. So spread some love this year, it’ll come back in triplicate.
I’m still laid low by the flu and intestinal upset that hit me last week. Actually I’m doing much better. But there’s a noise abatement problem, and some performance art that most people would find offensive. So I’m laying low. And I want to leave you with this thought. No matter how bad your day is, it’s no where near as bad as the day and night of a homeless guy with the Tijuana Trots. Think about it.
